As much as I would love for Lucifer to be trapped in some apocalyptic world where he can't do damage-- ( to her. them. their world. whatever ) I wasn't intending to trap him with you.
( them. this was too messy )
It wasn't a plan, I didn't close the door and I'd rather what you'd intended to happen did happen.
( a wave of conflicting emotions pass through him. he makes the split decision to set the glass down get to his feet. he can't do this. he thought he could, but he didn't think this would be a reverse look at your life situation. one he never got to live. his mom? mentioning mary just crosses a line. )
( rowena interprets the emotion as him needing reassurance, of the fact that his mum had been resurrected as being a lot to handle. and really underestimating what it is that he's thinking )
( he bristles, because she can't know that. to even know that she's alive and lost sends a full body shiver through his system. if he could, would he break into that world, and then break into the next. would he save jer again. could he?
they lost her the first time around.
he nods to himself. she's not wrong. he doesn't need to hear this. it's not for him. it's not his. he didn't get his mom back, he got the devil in his brother. )
( there's a pause and she can't fault him for these reactions either, it hadn't been a great story to find some measure of trust with. or getting to know each other.
so she doesn't press it, doesn't push. and instead gives him something-- )
Before I came here I was helping Dean, Sam and Castiel. If you need something... you know where I am.
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He was supposed to be holding the door open so they could return without a time limit. An unlimited supply of archangel grace holding the way.
( rowena one day you might wish to tell a story properly so it doesn't sound strange. you're missing so many details )
I did what I could in keeping it that way.
( she hasn't yet figured out what to do about that problem without lucifer being there. it was too soon )
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( he promised from scratch. but this is an interesting strategy to starting over. )
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As much as I would love for Lucifer to be trapped in some apocalyptic world where he can't do damage-- ( to her. them. their world. whatever ) I wasn't intending to trap him with you.
( them. this was too messy )
It wasn't a plan, I didn't close the door and I'd rather what you'd intended to happen did happen.
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( or, is there more to the story and is this just relevant to the Lucifer parts? )
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( unfortunately that's how the story ends. she babysat lucifer, failed at that, flung him into the rift and here she is. bollocks indeed )
There are things I wish had happened differently.
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Should I be worried? About us?
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( of course. she doesn't answer immediately, drinking a little as she decides what exactly to say )
You went to that world to find your family, to bring your mum home.
( and jack. lucifer's son. but that feels dangerous to mention )
You'll have something to handle Lucifer.
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Go back to the part about our mum.
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She'd been resurrected.
( by amara. but details she's not giving just yet )
Accidentally got sent to this other universe, you'd been trying to find a way to it ever since.
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( a wave of conflicting emotions pass through him. he makes the split decision to set the glass down get to his feet. he can't do this. he thought he could, but he didn't think this would be a reverse look at your life situation. one he never got to live. his mom? mentioning mary just crosses a line. )
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( rowena interprets the emotion as him needing reassurance, of the fact that his mum had been resurrected as being a lot to handle. and really underestimating what it is that he's thinking )
You'll find her and bring her back.
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You mean that's what plays out, or...
( he turns back, finally, knowing it's all assurances but not guarantees. )
How was she resurrected?
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( because even with her fuck up that's what she believed. rowena believed in dean more than herself )
I don't think that story is one for today.
( she doesn't want to get into god and amara today. save that for a meme )
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they lost her the first time around.
he nods to himself. she's not wrong. he doesn't need to hear this. it's not for him. it's not his. he didn't get his mom back, he got the devil in his brother. )
Okay. This was - real - thanks.
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so she doesn't press it, doesn't push. and instead gives him something-- )
Before I came here I was helping Dean, Sam and Castiel. If you need something... you know where I am.
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( he doesn't know her. hasn't experienced any of it. but he needs everyone he can get, doesn't he? one more person in his pocket.
he leaves her with her two bottles of scotch, one open, with more questions he doesn't have the energy to ask.
he calls his cas, drops down on the floor of his apartment and just -- drinks. )