( he bristles, because she can't know that. to even know that she's alive and lost sends a full body shiver through his system. if he could, would he break into that world, and then break into the next. would he save jer again. could he?
they lost her the first time around.
he nods to himself. she's not wrong. he doesn't need to hear this. it's not for him. it's not his. he didn't get his mom back, he got the devil in his brother. )
( there's a pause and she can't fault him for these reactions either, it hadn't been a great story to find some measure of trust with. or getting to know each other.
so she doesn't press it, doesn't push. and instead gives him something-- )
Before I came here I was helping Dean, Sam and Castiel. If you need something... you know where I am.
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( because even with her fuck up that's what she believed. rowena believed in dean more than herself )
I don't think that story is one for today.
( she doesn't want to get into god and amara today. save that for a meme )
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they lost her the first time around.
he nods to himself. she's not wrong. he doesn't need to hear this. it's not for him. it's not his. he didn't get his mom back, he got the devil in his brother. )
Okay. This was - real - thanks.
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so she doesn't press it, doesn't push. and instead gives him something-- )
Before I came here I was helping Dean, Sam and Castiel. If you need something... you know where I am.
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( he doesn't know her. hasn't experienced any of it. but he needs everyone he can get, doesn't he? one more person in his pocket.
he leaves her with her two bottles of scotch, one open, with more questions he doesn't have the energy to ask.
he calls his cas, drops down on the floor of his apartment and just -- drinks. )