[ Though Erik also falls asleep easily now, especially with her curled up against him like this, he also wakes just as easily, the first sign of tension coming from her already enough to rouse him.
He's also quick to realize her confused state, when she's all but panting for breath, and he props himself up on the mattress just enough to get her attention while still giving her a little space. ]
Rowena. Rowena, it's Erik— you're safe, it's alright. [ His hand stays on her arm, gentle and light, trying not to force contact when it could just make things worse. ]
( though his touch his light he'll feel how still tense she is at the contact, at the movement beside her. it takes a moment for his words to puncture through her fear, for her to hear them and absorb them.
it's erik. she's safe.
she lets them repeat in her mind a few times, her breathing slowly settling even if her heart is still pounding, slowly turning her head to look back at him )
[ He lets out a soft breath when she recognizes him, stills from her panic and struggling, finally meeting his gaze. Her words are met with a small smile, hand resting on her arm more properly now, comforting her. ]
Don't worry about that.
[ It's really not important, he can easily fall back asleep if he wants, and it's not as if she did it on purpose. ]
( she turns over fully to lay on her back, her head tipped to look at him, drawing his arm over with her as she moves. as rowena keeps her hand on his it'll feel more as if she's clinging to his hand for safety, needing hs steadiness, than simply holding it as they first had.
rowena nods slowly at his question, though there's hesitation in it and she knows that it isn't a believable lie because she isn't okay, though she doesn't know how to talk about it. she's only spoken about this once and even then she'd shut away from the conversation very quickly after.
but, given that she'd woken him, she tries, explaining a small something, as much as she can )
[ Once she seems to settle again, he lies back down beside her, his hand curled around her fingers, thumb brushing over the knuckles in a comforting gesture. She does seem calmer at least, but it can still be hard to go back to sleep after a particularly unpleasant nightmare. He would know. ]
As are mine.
[ And he's not even as old as she is, and probably hasn't gone through as much. So he can easily imagine her experiences being more than enough fuel for deeply upsetting dreams. ]
You don't have to, but— if you want to talk, I'll listen.
( she doesn't at first, closing her eyes again and focusing on the gesture, letting her breathing settle in time to the strokes of his thumb over her knuckles. there have been few times that rowena's had someone in her bed since lucifer killed her, not feeling safe enough, not wanting them to see her vulnerability, but erik goes against that. with erik, rowena feels safe, not for his power but for how he'd cared for her earlier, for how gentle and genuine he'd been.
she releases a breath, glad that her eyes are closed to hide how watery they are, even though as she begins to speak, some of that emotion is still held there )
My dream was something that had happened a few years ago, not exactly reliving the exact thing, but him finding me again... and burning me again.
( somewhere different, somewhere she should have been safe. that is rowena's other fear from this that she'll never be safe no matter where she is )
[ He doesn't wait expectantly, instead just curling up comfortably beside her, fine with just letting the moment fade into silence and get some more rest. Even if neither of them sleep, just getting to relish in each other's warmth is enough.
But when she does speak, he's listening, his eyes on her features, watching the smallest shifts in her expression. The way she keeps her eyes closed as if that will be enough to keep her emotions in check. ]
Can I ask who?
[ Well, he can ask. She certainly doesn't need to answer. ]
( though she'd felt calm(ish) in telling him that, able despite the quick beat of her heart, it's his question that makes her shift. her hand grips a little tighter at his, the fear that comes with just thinking of him always making her hands tight balls anyway, and it's a sense of the magnitude of what had happened to her )
Lucifer.
( the devil. actually. really.
though given erik's lack of experience with magic and far she's not certain he'd quite expect or believe that truth. not that it's currently crossing her mind )
[ Actually, he's more inclined to believe her than she might (normally) think. She's a witch, hundreds of years old, and here he has met so many unique from so many different worlds. This isn't as farfetched as it might have been when he first arrived.
Besides, right now is hardly the time to question her word. Rather than question her answer, he just curls his arm more firmly around her, a gentle squeeze around her fingers in an attempt to make her feel safe. ]
He can't get to you here.
[ Not in his bed, certainly. He doesn't give a damn who they are, god or king of hell or whatever else you want to call it. ]
( though rowena laughs there's no humour to it and he'll hear her doubt in it, how much she doesn't believe those words and how much she doesn't feel safe )
Unless they bring him here.
( and considering the fae seemed to do whatever they wanted, they'd brought others gods here already, she almost expected it at some point. being in another universe hadn't stopped him before.
she makes a slightly frustrated sound, still quiet in the night but audible enough )
[ He's not surprised for the reaction, when he would be equally skeptical and deeply concerned about the possibility of some people he's known showing up here. Shaw. Nur. Even Jean. ]
I understand your fear. [ Believe him, he truly does. ] But this is something that's out of our control, whether he's brought here or not one day. But he's not here now.
[ He squeezes her hand, a gentle tug to get her to meet his gaze. ]
( she tries to relax her grip on his hand, not letting go but trying to calm a little, feeling the gentleness of his squeeze, the reassuring touch and it makes rowena look up at him.
her gaze is filled with conflicting emotion: fear chiefly, the pain it caused, but also confusion which is reflected in her question )
Why are you?
( it feels silly to ask, as if she's questioning the comfort he's giving her, but she wants to understand to help herself believe it. why is he by her side when he hardly knows her )
[ He cants his head at the question, a slight curl to his lips when he answers without pause or difficulty. ]
Because I care about you. Why else?
[ It doesn't need saying— or maybe it does, because some people need to hear it, or they need time to believe it. There's a weight to words being spoken aloud that goes beyond displaying feelings through actions. Besides, Erik has no issues whatsoever with being honest about how he feels. ]
( that flicker of surprise crosses her expression again, lingering as she replays his words. i care about you. it makes her want to ask why again, but rowena doesn't. she doesn't know if she wants to hear the reason why someone cares about her, to know that specific thing. she doesn't know if it would help.
after a moment, she tucks her head back against him, leaning slightly closer. and really, after the man had let her into his bed without question it should be obvious that there's some caring there. but it's as much of a topic shift as it is a physical shift, because rowena doesn't want to dwell on her pain for long (can't bring herself to), not wanting those images to remain in her mind )
I'm glad you're here.
( her words are much quieter, a woman who is more afraid of being honest about how she feels. she doesn't believe that he would be able to protect her from lucifer but she is glad of his company and the sentiment that he'd try to )
[ It's good that she doesn't ask, because he doesn't know that he would be able to answer in a logic way. Sentiment often goes beyond logic, after all. He got to know her, they grew close, she gave him reason to trust her, and to like having her around. Things just shifted naturally from that.
He seems pleased enough that she doesn't keep questioning it, and instead chooses to move closer to him. His arm tucks around her frame, firm but not tight, and he presses a small peck on her temple, over her head. ]
Go back to sleep. I'll be here, I promise.
[ She still needs rest, and he's hoping that particular nightmare won't plague her again after their brief conversation. ]
( there's a soft noise like an agreement at his statement, and with his arm more around her, rowena turns slightly, curling herself closer to him. it's a show in trust that she believes he'll be there and would try to keep her safe, from her nightmares if nothing else, and a rare piece of vulnerability. of softness.
thankfully, the rest of her sleep is dreamless, passing peacefully until the morning, letting her feel somewhat more rested when she does wake up.
sadly, rowena wakes up much earlier than she'd like. though she's still comfortable (mostly) there's a strangeness to waking up with someone beside her, an unfamiliarity in being curled against someone. though she's very familiar with the solid feeling pressing into her to guess what that is.
and, as she wakes, she makes a noise, more at still feeling tired and knowing she's awake much earlier than she'd like than anything else about the situation )
[ With the comfort of her warmth against him, Erik finds it equally easy to fall back asleep, all the more so after the tiring day they've both had. His own sleep is peceful, no dreams to tire his mind or nightmares to plague him, and even when she wakes up, it still takes him a little longer to rouse.
Eventually though, between the shifting and sounds she lets out, he's waking up too, very quickly realising he has a rather big... problem.
A problem he's effectively going to ignore, and he expects them both to be just mature enough to simply not comment on it. It'll go away eventually, it's fine. ]
Slept any better?
[ He asks with his eyes still closed, both to delay the actual waking up and not having to meet her gaze and find out just how aware she might be of the hardness between his legs. ]
( there's a softer sound now that she knows he's awake, a little agreement to his question as she tucks her head more against him. aside from being poked she's still quite comfortable )
You did help with that.
( it was almost as if he'd promised that he would, as if his physical safety banished any negativity from her mind. it's a nice thought, anyway.
she moves her arm, intending just to draw it back up to where she's curled against him, though half-asleep she's not quite as coordinated and ends up brushing her hand over his cock as she does. oops )
Keep flattering me and we'll have a very nice time together.
( she's already touched it she may as well break the ice. even if it's awkwardly. let her wake up more and she'll be smoother. but she means it: he was kind last night and this in a way was flattery.
and she'd have gone there even without waking up to his erection pressed against her )
[ He's too caught off-guard by the brush of her hand to really contain his reaction, and he sucks in a sharp breath while his hips shift— away? Away. Probably away from her. Not much, but still.
Then he just lets out a chuckle, a little amused but for the most part, embarrassed. His eyes open then, but he's pointedly looking up to the wall above their heads, almost as if begging some higher entity for mercy. ]
Please, just— ignore that. [ It's not like he could control getting an erection while he was asleep. Which isn't to say she shouldn't take it as a compliment. ] It'll go away.
( her eyes open at his comment, a momentary look of thought before she smiles at him. and really, it's the pause after she smiles before she speaks that'll tell him something (dangerous) is coming )
It doesn't need to.
( and this time she purposely nudges her hand closer. he made it easier leaving that gap between them )
I wasn't complaining. But if you're not--
( her hand backs off, a light shrug in her expression. she might flirt with a heavy hand but she knows the clear boundaries, and she'll let him decide if he's interested. she's stated hers )
[ He looks down then, meeting her gaze, more serious now in spite of that momentary embarrassment. It's not like her interest is a complete surprise to him, but this is an actual offer rather than just the occasional flirting they've both indulged in, and it begs a reminder.
His hand slides down her arm, stopping just below her elbow. ]
You know this isn't going to be just sex, for me. [ They've had this conversation, however briefly, and he knows she remembers his words. The sentiment of needing a deeper connection when he's physically involved with someone. ] Are you alright with that?
( her gaze stays on his, holding it, searching his eyes for everything she'd felt from him during the night and it's so easy to find. it had never left. how comfortable she is around him, how safe, and without realising it over the short time they've been getting to know each other she's let her guard down around him.
she nods slowly, even though there's uncertainty in what she feels but it's not about him. it's uncertainty in herself, in what more is, and whilst rowena has dated even recently she's never let herself have a real relationship, never let herself find someone she wanted to love. whilst that's still many steps away she knows that agreeing to him opens that path. yet she still does, even if it scares her.
but he's safe, he's there, and that's a future that they'd both have to navigate the emotional challenges of for different reasons. and still together )
I don't know why I came to your bed last night... but it's a bed I'd like to keep coming back to, whatever the reason is.
( sex or just to sleep with him, to be close and comforted as last night had been. and, slowly, learn to comfort him when he needed it )
[ Nothing really has changed here, not only Erik's interest, but his desire for a deeper connection, a need for intimacy that goes beyond just physical. This is something he's expressed to her before, and while he's sure she wouldn't be suggesting this now if she wasn't alright with that, he still feels it's only right to bring it up, and know that she's sure about their relationship going in a new direction.
There is a genuine sense of relief, but most of all gladness, when she nods. It's not that he would have been upset with her if she just said she wasn't interested in something more romantic, but it would be a lie so say it wouldn't be a little disappointing. Her words draw a smile from him, his hand sliding up her arm again, and he leans in close for a small, brief kiss. ]
I should let you know, I— haven't done this in ten years. [ Which she probably could have guessed herself, knowing what she does about his past, but he decides it's best to let her know. He might be a little rusty with his moves. ]
( her smile sweetens when he smiles, leaning in to meet his kiss. and this, under what this now was from them, was a much sweeter kiss than the one they'd shared when dancing. a much nicer kiss.
his words prompt a small laugh from her and she appreciates his honesty, reaching a hand up to rest against his cheek )
I'm not worried.
( about him, about how the sex will feel. she won't use the cliche but she's pretty confident he'd figure it out. and she's trying to ignore what she is worried about -- hopefully she'll figure it out as they go.
she presses another light kiss to his lips before whispering-- )
We can take it easy.
( which, whilst sounds in relation to his concern, is actually about her. whilst rowena would love wild and passion, and she doesn't doubt that will come, she knows her limits, and one night of broken sleep and some rest isn't enough to make her feel up for anything more than gentle sex that morning )
[ She laughs but it doesn't feel mocking, if anything she helps him feel a little more at ease. It's not like he won't know what he's doing, honestly, he just felt like it was worth pointing out.
He's very fine with taking it easy, though. Take their time, both in the physical aspect of the relationship and beyond. He nods slowly, eyes lidded, then dips his head in to kiss her again, the hand on her arm moving to settle on her lower back, more of a gentle touch than actually pulling her closer just yet. ]
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He's also quick to realize her confused state, when she's all but panting for breath, and he props himself up on the mattress just enough to get her attention while still giving her a little space. ]
Rowena. Rowena, it's Erik— you're safe, it's alright. [ His hand stays on her arm, gentle and light, trying not to force contact when it could just make things worse. ]
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it's erik. she's safe.
she lets them repeat in her mind a few times, her breathing slowly settling even if her heart is still pounding, slowly turning her head to look back at him )
I woke you.
( a voice full of emotion. and regret )
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Don't worry about that.
[ It's really not important, he can easily fall back asleep if he wants, and it's not as if she did it on purpose. ]
Are you alright?
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rowena nods slowly at his question, though there's hesitation in it and she knows that it isn't a believable lie because she isn't okay, though she doesn't know how to talk about it. she's only spoken about this once and even then she'd shut away from the conversation very quickly after.
but, given that she'd woken him, she tries, explaining a small something, as much as she can )
My dreams are often haunted by my experiences.
( as if it's simply a consequence of her age )
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As are mine.
[ And he's not even as old as she is, and probably hasn't gone through as much. So he can easily imagine her experiences being more than enough fuel for deeply upsetting dreams. ]
You don't have to, but— if you want to talk, I'll listen.
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she releases a breath, glad that her eyes are closed to hide how watery they are, even though as she begins to speak, some of that emotion is still held there )
My dream was something that had happened a few years ago, not exactly reliving the exact thing, but him finding me again... and burning me again.
( somewhere different, somewhere she should have been safe. that is rowena's other fear from this that she'll never be safe no matter where she is )
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But when she does speak, he's listening, his eyes on her features, watching the smallest shifts in her expression. The way she keeps her eyes closed as if that will be enough to keep her emotions in check. ]
Can I ask who?
[ Well, he can ask. She certainly doesn't need to answer. ]
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Lucifer.
( the devil. actually. really.
though given erik's lack of experience with magic and far she's not certain he'd quite expect or believe that truth. not that it's currently crossing her mind )
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Besides, right now is hardly the time to question her word. Rather than question her answer, he just curls his arm more firmly around her, a gentle squeeze around her fingers in an attempt to make her feel safe. ]
He can't get to you here.
[ Not in his bed, certainly. He doesn't give a damn who they are, god or king of hell or whatever else you want to call it. ]
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Unless they bring him here.
( and considering the fae seemed to do whatever they wanted, they'd brought others gods here already, she almost expected it at some point. being in another universe hadn't stopped him before.
she makes a slightly frustrated sound, still quiet in the night but audible enough )
They would enjoy his act to begin with.
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I understand your fear. [ Believe him, he truly does. ] But this is something that's out of our control, whether he's brought here or not one day. But he's not here now.
[ He squeezes her hand, a gentle tug to get her to meet his gaze. ]
I am here. With you.
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her gaze is filled with conflicting emotion: fear chiefly, the pain it caused, but also confusion which is reflected in her question )
Why are you?
( it feels silly to ask, as if she's questioning the comfort he's giving her, but she wants to understand to help herself believe it. why is he by her side when he hardly knows her )
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Because I care about you. Why else?
[ It doesn't need saying— or maybe it does, because some people need to hear it, or they need time to believe it. There's a weight to words being spoken aloud that goes beyond displaying feelings through actions. Besides, Erik has no issues whatsoever with being honest about how he feels. ]
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after a moment, she tucks her head back against him, leaning slightly closer. and really, after the man had let her into his bed without question it should be obvious that there's some caring there. but it's as much of a topic shift as it is a physical shift, because rowena doesn't want to dwell on her pain for long (can't bring herself to), not wanting those images to remain in her mind )
I'm glad you're here.
( her words are much quieter, a woman who is more afraid of being honest about how she feels. she doesn't believe that he would be able to protect her from lucifer but she is glad of his company and the sentiment that he'd try to )
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He seems pleased enough that she doesn't keep questioning it, and instead chooses to move closer to him. His arm tucks around her frame, firm but not tight, and he presses a small peck on her temple, over her head. ]
Go back to sleep. I'll be here, I promise.
[ She still needs rest, and he's hoping that particular nightmare won't plague her again after their brief conversation. ]
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thankfully, the rest of her sleep is dreamless, passing peacefully until the morning, letting her feel somewhat more rested when she does wake up.
sadly, rowena wakes up much earlier than she'd like. though she's still comfortable (mostly) there's a strangeness to waking up with someone beside her, an unfamiliarity in being curled against someone. though she's very familiar with the solid feeling pressing into her to guess what that is.
and, as she wakes, she makes a noise, more at still feeling tired and knowing she's awake much earlier than she'd like than anything else about the situation )
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Eventually though, between the shifting and sounds she lets out, he's waking up too, very quickly realising he has a rather big... problem.
A problem he's effectively going to ignore, and he expects them both to be just mature enough to simply not comment on it. It'll go away eventually, it's fine. ]
Slept any better?
[ He asks with his eyes still closed, both to delay the actual waking up and not having to meet her gaze and find out just how aware she might be of the hardness between his legs. ]
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You did help with that.
( it was almost as if he'd promised that he would, as if his physical safety banished any negativity from her mind. it's a nice thought, anyway.
she moves her arm, intending just to draw it back up to where she's curled against him, though half-asleep she's not quite as coordinated and ends up brushing her hand over his cock as she does. oops )
Keep flattering me and we'll have a very nice time together.
( she's already touched it she may as well break the ice. even if it's awkwardly. let her wake up more and she'll be smoother. but she means it: he was kind last night and this in a way was flattery.
and she'd have gone there even without waking up to his erection pressed against her )
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Then he just lets out a chuckle, a little amused but for the most part, embarrassed. His eyes open then, but he's pointedly looking up to the wall above their heads, almost as if begging some higher entity for mercy. ]
Please, just— ignore that. [ It's not like he could control getting an erection while he was asleep. Which isn't to say she shouldn't take it as a compliment. ] It'll go away.
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It doesn't need to.
( and this time she purposely nudges her hand closer. he made it easier leaving that gap between them )
I wasn't complaining. But if you're not--
( her hand backs off, a light shrug in her expression. she might flirt with a heavy hand but she knows the clear boundaries, and she'll let him decide if he's interested. she's stated hers )
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His hand slides down her arm, stopping just below her elbow. ]
You know this isn't going to be just sex, for me. [ They've had this conversation, however briefly, and he knows she remembers his words. The sentiment of needing a deeper connection when he's physically involved with someone. ] Are you alright with that?
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she nods slowly, even though there's uncertainty in what she feels but it's not about him. it's uncertainty in herself, in what more is, and whilst rowena has dated even recently she's never let herself have a real relationship, never let herself find someone she wanted to love. whilst that's still many steps away she knows that agreeing to him opens that path. yet she still does, even if it scares her.
but he's safe, he's there, and that's a future that they'd both have to navigate the emotional challenges of for different reasons. and still together )
I don't know why I came to your bed last night... but it's a bed I'd like to keep coming back to, whatever the reason is.
( sex or just to sleep with him, to be close and comforted as last night had been. and, slowly, learn to comfort him when he needed it )
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There is a genuine sense of relief, but most of all gladness, when she nods. It's not that he would have been upset with her if she just said she wasn't interested in something more romantic, but it would be a lie so say it wouldn't be a little disappointing. Her words draw a smile from him, his hand sliding up her arm again, and he leans in close for a small, brief kiss. ]
I should let you know, I— haven't done this in ten years. [ Which she probably could have guessed herself, knowing what she does about his past, but he decides it's best to let her know. He might be a little rusty with his moves. ]
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his words prompt a small laugh from her and she appreciates his honesty, reaching a hand up to rest against his cheek )
I'm not worried.
( about him, about how the sex will feel. she won't use the cliche but she's pretty confident he'd figure it out. and she's trying to ignore what she is worried about -- hopefully she'll figure it out as they go.
she presses another light kiss to his lips before whispering-- )
We can take it easy.
( which, whilst sounds in relation to his concern, is actually about her. whilst rowena would love wild and passion, and she doesn't doubt that will come, she knows her limits, and one night of broken sleep and some rest isn't enough to make her feel up for anything more than gentle sex that morning )
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He's very fine with taking it easy, though. Take their time, both in the physical aspect of the relationship and beyond. He nods slowly, eyes lidded, then dips his head in to kiss her again, the hand on her arm moving to settle on her lower back, more of a gentle touch than actually pulling her closer just yet. ]
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